Mom: What are you doing?
Me: Learning how to twerk from YouTube videos.
Me: I want a push up bra!!!
Mom: Do you want people to see your boobs before they see your face?
Me: They already do.
Mom: It’s sad how racist some people are. Take Michael Jordan’s wife. Some people are horrible enough to talk behind her back and still be like ‘He may be rich, but he’s still black’. Why do they say it like being black is a bad thing?
Me: “Uh. It don’t matter to me, doe. Ima let them talk that talk ‘till you see him Number 23 when he’s on the court ballin’ MVP, biotch!”
Me: “Dad! I got this business writing book from my professor fo’ free, and used it to re-do your friend’s resume while I had downtime at work and he gave me $10 for doing it for him! You know what they call that, right?!”
Dad: *sighs* I don’t know…a hustler?
Me: “I’M A HUSTLA BABY…JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW. IT AIN’T WHERE I BEEN, BUT WHERE I’M ‘BOUT TO GO…”
Me: TOP OF DA WORLD!!!